My year – buying and selling to get by.

I’m back in the saddle. I believe I missed 2016 because my brain was in a total fog. Being a mom and getting laid off were the “highlights” of my year. The end.

And now 2017. The short version: It still sucked big time in different ways. I suppose the big events of 2016 attributed to it. As I type these words, I’m at the lowest point ever. Yay.

Since I can barely remember what I did yesterday, summing up a whole 365 days is quite a challenge.

The biggest deal of the year, I think, was that my son survived a whole 365 days under my watch mostly. Can I get a round of applause? My mother and father-in-law came to visit for THE event of the year. It was so nice having them here for the few days they were here. I had a mini vacation, as my son and I stayed with them in their rental. It was only about 4 miles away, but worlds away.

We also had friends and other family visit us. They are always fun because you feel truly at home and can (try to) forget your problems. When my sister visited, it seemed really short, only because I saw her about 3 times, as most of her time was spent exploring the city and visiting my brother-in-law’s family.

Also tied into my son’s first birthday, he started cruising and eventually walking, and now he’s kind of running. He can’t yet jump, but he tries. He can also say a few words and I’m so impressed with what he knows and his creativity (He just showed me a Megablok and called it a “boat.”)

I could fill this whole blog about my son. But, I don’t want to digress too much. There’s a lot more to bitch about.

I missed out going to a New Kids on the Block concert because I had NO ONE who would go with me. It sucked really bad. I bought the tickets 6 or so months in advance. It was like my final present to myself post-layoff. It was hard to kiss that money and experience goodbye.

Callie – because I couldn’t think of a name.

There is one highlight that occurred this summer. Someone actually hired me. Yes, I have a job, but in my mind, it doesn’t really count because I’m really hard on myself and set such high standards. It’s a totally legit job. I completed a W-4 for it. I work about 8-10 hours a week (mostly 8). It’s in a really laid back office and I have a nice view of Lake Washington. It’s easy and kind of made me feel like I am employable. However, it would be even better if it was full time or could offer more hours. But hey, maybe that’s something that will happen in 2018. Knock on wood.

Oh, and due to the stress of having 3 “children” (two of them being fur babies), we decided to give up one of them. I’ll be honest. I rarely think of Callie. It’s strange because she was my baby before my human baby entered this world. But I could not handle her extreme need for attention. In the deepest pits of my soul, I know I’m hurting. But it really felt more like a business decision. Hence, our kid’s first road trip to Salem, OR. Perhaps I’m at ease because Callie was adopted by friends of ours. I have no worries about her. I know she is being treated so well, and has a new person who loves her dearly.

I’m sure the biggest winner was our other cat, Sammy. She is back to being the queen feline supreme of our household. She is also a prize for my son, who loved “playing” with Callie.

Speaking of travel and road trips, my husband, son and I hit the road to California. It was a bit nerve racking, as I didn’t know if I’d survive 10 hours in a car with my then 18-month-old son. But we did it. We got to see both sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles. We spent two days at Legoland. The trip was short. Too short. I didn’t get to see all of the people I wanted to see. But on the bright side, I got to see the really important ones.

We also crossed over to visit our neighbors to the north. My son went international this year. For Thanksgiving we drove up to Vancouver, British Columbia. It was 3 days to get away, but really, for me, I was thinking about how I missed my family and reminiscing about how we could take vacations 2-3 times a year without batting an eye.

Then, on the day we were supposed to drive back, my husband’s car battery was dead. He also had to be at work later that morning. It all worked out though. It. All. Worked. Out. I put that in bold as a reminder. Are you paying attention, 2018?

I made amends with our property manager. It was kind of weird to me. I mean, I know I had a lot of pent up frustration and could have acted in a more civil manner. In some ways, I feel like my skin is deteriorating. Not really thick, though I don’t think it has ever been. My fuse is shorter, that’s for sure. Still, it felt good. Although it was not face to face, I did call her. Overall, it felt really good. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders and brain.

To offset financial issues and general boredom, I really kicked my thrift store shopping and flipping into gear. I can’t say i made much profit overall. Most of the money went back into buying stuff, mostly for my son. The plus side was kind of meeting people and becoming more familiar with different areas. It’s like taking a mini road trip, in a way.

I think I do torture myself a little by visiting our old neighborhood. The memories are fleeing, though. It kind of makes me sad. It is like I’m admitting defeat, that we’ll never be back to where we were. It wasn’t the best place, but by far we were in better standing than where we are today.

Oh, and I suppose another thing to mention is that my son slipped and fell. We took him to the ER. They did an X-ray, and it was horrifying to me. To see my little guy being held down and have no effing clue what’s going on. Long story short, he was fine. He wasn’t really walking for about a week, but he seems to be fully healed, as the specialist at Children’s Hospital said. So, for that, I’m grateful. It was hard to see my child in pain. The guilt added another layer of pain.

So, that was my 2017 in a nutshell. My hopes/dreams/wishes/future for 2018:

• Getting more money in the bank – I really do hope that by this time next year, I will be raving about my awesome job. I know it’s out there. And hoping it will be mine in 2018.
• Hearing my son talk his true first words and sentences – Although it scares me that he’s going to hit another major milestone, it will be nice to know what he want and how he feels with actual words than trying to play a guessing game. I’m already intrigued by what he can do now, but if he could tell me exactly what is going through his head, I’d be even more fascinated.
• Seeing family and friends again – This will never get old or boring. Not having family and friends around really takes a toll on you, especially when you feel you have lost so much.
• Preparing for a second – Hah! If my husband is reading this, see bullet point number one. Our little guy needs a sibling! 🙂 My baby fever was definitely high during the latter part of the year. Call me crazy, but my clock is ticking and the snooze isn’t working!
• Another year of life – This is for everyone in my life and even myself. I hope we all live to see another day, breathe another breath.

Happy New Year everyone!