I was hopeful that the start of a new decade would be the start of something new and beautiful. However, 2020 was such a blurry blob of a year for the most part.

The year seemed like it was starting off nicely. My daughter was going to the Infant-Toddler class sans her brother. I had taken my son there for about 2 years, and took my daughter along. It was going to be AWESOME! She’d get to (not) interact with other kids and get to play with a variety of educational toys. I’d get a little break and get edumacated about parenting stuff.

That same month, my daughter contracted Hand-Foot-and-Mouth disease. It was awful. I had to drive in the snow to get her to Children’s Hospital. I can barely stand driving in the rain; but snow? For real? Ugh.

In February, we got to check out the local children’s museum, for which my sister had given us a membership to for Christmas. It was really cool and I was so looking forward to taking the kids there a few times during the year. Then a few weeks later, shit hit the fan. Big time.

One day in February, we had breakfast together as a family before dropping my husband off at work. I remember thinking, “This is nice. Things are finally looking up!” Oh, the irony!

Later that day, my husband came home early — unexpectedly. I remember seeing him open the door, and I just kind of thought not much of it. But when we talked upstairs, I felt my anxiety shoot up like a rocket.

My husband dropped an atomic sized bomb on me — he had lost his job.

It felt so un-freaking-believable. I’ve always felt like shit like that happens to me, not my husband. Now we both were in da club. Since I hadn’t been working for 3 years at that time, I felt a major sense of panic. What the fuck were we going to do?

If that February felt like shit hit the fan, then the following March was like falling into a poop pit and swallowing a mouthful.

March 2020 came along… Hello, Coronavirus.

For the next few months, it felt like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. All that was missing was Freddy Kreuger.

Mask and Lockdown were the buzzwords of those days. It was weird. It was so scary. I mean, this wasn’t just happening HERE. It’s everywhere. There was no stopping it. Just stay home.

So, after spending 4 years of being a SAHM, I was truly living up to my title, as I couldn’t go anywhere. In a flash, I feel I took for granted opportunities to go to the park, to the library, to the mall, to the grocery store — basically anywhere outside the house. I look so fondly back on our maskless days.

Fortunately, my husband was working again in March. So, there was that. But with this new virus out there, every day I was scared to death that something would happen to him. What if he catches the virus, then he brings it home, and we all die?

Now that I was home along with the kids, I had a new dilemma — How do I keep them entertained and maintain my sanity? It was hard enough before. But now? Now I couldn’t leave my home.

April, May, June and July are pretty much a blur. My son started attending preschool via Zoom. I felt at times like I was trying to corral an escaped zoo animal. He wouldn’t sit down. He’d be visibly bored. On the inside, I worried so much about how this would affect him. He loves being around people. He loves going to school. This virtual stuff was not cutting it. I also kind of missed going to class with him sometimes.

There was a bit of a bright light shining through Poop Hell. It was some time in July. I felt compelled to go back to work. Perhaps it was due to the shift from everyone working in an office to everyone working from home, which was my ideal job. I guess I thought it was the perfect time to sneak back in to the corporate world.

I can’t recall how many places I applied to, but I interviewed with two companies: One was my former employer in California, and the other was a company not too far from my home.

I interviewed virtually with both companies. Though I thought it would be “easier,” in some ways it was harder. For one, it feels really strange to talk through your computer. Also, it looks like you’re chatting with The Brady Bunch. What was that Carol? Huh, Mike? Cindy – Did you say something? I mean, how do you make eye contact with each person? How can you get a vibe? How do you read a virtual room?

For a hot second I thought I was a shoe-in for the job with my former employer. I interviewed with people I knew; I’d even worked with the supervisor on some things before. My distorted reality was crushed when the HR Lady told me I wasn’t moving forward. However, the other company did like me, like, liked me liked me. It was a huge relief because I had to go through 3 rounds of interviews. With each round, I did a practice interview at home. I remember hiding any trace of a mess, covering up the ABCs behind me, and unplugging the Echo (Alexa).

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention… In July, I found out I was pregnant. So, if anything, I had chats with my little fetus. I told it, “You’re gonna be my good luck charm.” It seemed to work for a bit.

Did I mention we were in the middle of a pandemic?

Around September was the first appointment I was able to get with my new OB/GYN. It happened to land 3 days after my first day at my new job.

Silly me thought all I’d need was a simple desk. I had bought a little standing/rolling desk, the kind that you see in doctors’ offices. When I went to the office to pick up my laptop, I got my laptop, and a keyboard, a mouse, and two monitors. Oh yeah, and a chair.

When I got home, I set my stuff down and went shopping for a desk. Every store I went to had ZERO. Why? Because everyone else was either working or schooling from home. My husband sacrificed his desk for me. 🙂

Since I was having yet another “advanced maternal age” pregnancy (e.g., old lady with baby on the way), I was sent to have some extra ultrasounds done and meet with a genetic counselor. By myself. Joy.

Yes, I had to attend all my appointments by myself. I could not take my other kids with me. I could not have my husband there with me for moral support. Just me, myself and I.

Every time I’d see my OB/GYN’s number pop up, my heart would race. It never seemed to be good news.

One day in November I had to have an extra ultrasound done because there was possibly something wrong with my baby’s brain or something like that. Luckily, everything was fine. Whew, bullet dodged… For a few months anyway.

And so, I was happily working (virtually) and adjusting to working at home AND watching my kids and taking care of the baby on the way. Baby seemed to being doing so well. And then 2020 ended on a pretty happy note.

Hold my beer, said 2021….